Farewell, Grandma

I usually take a picture with Mama every time I make a trip back to Singapore. Subsequent goodbyes get harder and I always leave with a heavier heart because I know that it could very well be my last.

That day finally came.

My dear Mama passed away on the 17th August, two months shy of her 90th birthday, and three weeks before Mark, I and Lexie, will be back home in Singapore for good.

As I scroll through my archive of pictures, I realised that I haven't got many photos with her in recent years, which also meant that I haven't been spending much time with her. I guess it is partly because we have been living in the United States, but I could have definitely done more. I wish I had let her hold Lexie a little longer, wish I had sat down more often to watch drama together, wish I had hugged her a little more in April, wish I had made time to listen to her life story.

I wish I had more of these moments to hold on to because when someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.

Death has never hit so close to home before so grieve is something I am still trying to comprehend. It comes in waves and it is especially hard to say farewell when we are miles away.

Sometimes, though, I think to myself how lucky am I to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Mama was a very strong woman, one of the most independent I knew. Widowed at a young age, she brought up her three children all by herself. It must have been extremely tough, especially since she led a relatively comfortable life until my grandfather passed away.

Although she lost her husband and wealth at the same time, she never remarried but put in her best to raise the three little kids that she had. And for that I am so grateful.

It was painful watching her soul trapped in the body that had crippled her in her twilight years. Though mentally alert, she was wheelchair bound after a fall and her strength escaped her as each day passed.

Mama, I hope that you are happy there.

Because on the other side, God shall wipe away all tears from your eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Thank you for taking care of all of us all these years. Every single one of us.

I wish I could have been there to say my final goodbye Mama, but I can't. I'm sorry.

Mama, I love you and I will miss you.

But I know that I will see you again someday, because families are forever.

In loving memory of my beloved Mama, her wake will be held at Block 508 Hougang Ave 10 S530508 till Saturday, 20 August, with a memorial service scheduled at 8pm. The cortege will be leaving Hougang at 1pm on Sunday, 21 August, and the cremation will be held at Mandai crematorium at 2.15pm.

Love,

Ah Girl